Anne's Birthday

12 Pubs of Christmas — Nick Miller edition

Overall rule: Respect the crawl. Any disrespect and you drink. When someone says '29' (The Schmidt way), everyone must drink.

START: 3.30pm

1. Pub 1: 67A Tabley Road: Abs becomes the Oracle and must make predictions about the rest of the night. If anyone challenges the Oracle, they must take a sip.
2. Pub 2: The Prince Edward — 38 Parkhurst Rd, London N7 0SF — Nick Miller cheapskate rule: Everyone must buy the cheapest drink on the menu. If you fail to do so, or try to upgrade, you have to tell the group a secret you’ve never shared before.
3. Pub 3: The Crown — 622 Holloway Rd, Archway, London N19 3PA — The crawl doesn’t wait rule: Once one person finishes their drink, we must move to the next pub within 2 minutes.
4. Pub 4: The Landseer Arms — 37 Landseer Rd, London N19 4JU — The Schmidt sentimental rule: Before your first sip, everyone must say one sincere, borderline dramatic compliment about me. If it’s too vague, you have to finish your drink.
5. Pub 5: The Swimmer at the Grafton Arms — 13 Eburne Rd, London N7 6AR — The guide rule: Diana must lead the group with blind confidence and 0 navigation skills to this pub. If we get lost, everyone drinks.
6. BUS BREAK aka BUZZBALL BREAK
7. Pub 6: The Red Lion — 132 Stoke Newington Church St, London N16 0JX — The crawl demands a sacrifice rule: Each person must give up one thing for the pub i.e. no drinking with your dominant hand, no straw, no smiling. If you break your rule, you have to take a sip.
8. Pub 7: The Auld Shillelagh — 105 Stoke Newington Church St, London N16 0UD — The Cece and Jess rage rule: Only drinks over 20% allowed and you must say one mildly unhinged sentence about an ex, situationship or work injustice.
9. Pub 8: Three Crowns — 175 Stoke Newington High St, London N16 0LH — The Nick Miller spiral rule: Everyone must share a wildly disproportionate worry, and it has to be over something tiny. If it’s actually reasonable, you must drink.
10. Pub 9: The Coach & Horses — 178 Stoke Newington High St, London N16 7JL — The Schmidt confidence rule: Everyone must refer to themselves in the 3rd person.
11. Pub 10: The Rochester Castle — 143-145 Stoke Newington High St, London N16 0NY — The Nick Miller zombie novel rule: Everyone must share a personal dream they once abandoned.
12. Pub 11: The White Hart — 69 Stoke Newington High St, London N16 8EL — The Tilly is Winston rule: She must declare a completely pointless, overly intense challenge for the pub. Everyone has to commit; if you refuse or break the rule, you have to finish your drink.
13. Pub 12: Yucatan Bar — 121 Stoke Newington Rd, London N16 8BT — The respect the crawl finale rule: Everyone...
14. Route: Open full route (start to finish)